Imagine the scenario...you’re running late for a meeting...and yet...the prospect of hoofing it up or down the staircase causes too much angst.

What if you work up a sweat and show up at your meeting appearing as if you just ran a marathon...or were perhaps doused by a water balloon en route? What do you do? You press the elevator call button. Patiently, at first. You check your watch every second or so. Very patient. You press the call button again. No response. Obviously, your competitor at work has sensed that you are running late for that very critical meeting. You’ve often thought them telepathic, not to mention sociopathic...and now, you are convinced. Clearly, they have sabotaged the elevator. You press the call button, this time not very patiently...in fact, the tap-tap-tapping of your toes is matched only by the rhythmic, incessant, rap of your index finger on the call button. Alas, your patience is not rewarded. You are reminded of your Grandmother’s admonishment, “A watched pot never boils.” You shake your head back and forth...hells bells, that doesn’t even make SENSE! What was she thinking? It defies the very laws of physics...of course, a watched pot boils, for God’s sake. You are briefly distracted by the sheer nonsense of it all. And then, you remember...the meeting! And, the elevator that has obviously been hijacked by your Boss’s child. You imagine them stepping into and OUT of the elevator, just to force the doors to open and close...and open and close….and open and close. You place your finger on the call button and simply hold it there. No satisfaction. You are now 5 minutes late to the meeting that, before the elevator mano a mano, was so critical.

You finally relent, sprinting to the staircase...at which point, naturally, the chime of the elevator signals your defeat.

Admit it. Come clean. You are guilty of at least one elevator etiquette faux pas in your life. The following link is the very comical take on the subject matter, skillfully penned by Greg Tannen. Elevator Etiquette

Enjoy. And, for the love of Mike, keep pressing that call button. It’s bound to come around to your way of thinking...eventually.

#goingup #elevatoretiquette #newyorker